Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
