Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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