I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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