It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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