The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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