my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
