Your mouth is God's brothel.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
