Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
