the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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