wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize