that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
