Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
