We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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