I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
