went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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