I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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