I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize