so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
