This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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