South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
