Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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