so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize