Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
