I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
