I am in a vortex of obligation.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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