p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
