she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
