No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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