You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
