Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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