If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
