i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
