oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
