Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wanna passion pit in your ass
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize