Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Boobs are out for the taking
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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