i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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