ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
