She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
