p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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