Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Holy sore nipples Batman
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
