yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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