He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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