I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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