The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
