I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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