Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize