i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
