I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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