I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
