I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
