I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
