I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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