wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
