If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Panties = found
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
