we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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