$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
