i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
