I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize