alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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