ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
