I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
