Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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