Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
