So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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