i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize