She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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