You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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