He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
