Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is Oprah even human
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
