Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
