I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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