Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
