We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
