i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
3 2 1 whiskey
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
