my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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