Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
