i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
