so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
