I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I lost the right to judge tonight
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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