Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Farmville is her only friend.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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