I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
