For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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