I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
