Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
