You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
