video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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